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| School Days - Year 6 |
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Original story view from what I had written (2000) |
The Haunted House
One dark, rainy, spooky night, Fred and Peter was in the car, then the fuel ran out of the car.
Fred and Peter was walking in the rain, they they saw a very old house.
"Come on Fred, are you a scardy cat?", whispered Peter.
"A little bit", explained Fred.
They went inside the old house. It was old, scary and full of spider webs. They went up the stairs. It was wobbly.
Fred and petter saw rooms. They looked in the bedroom first, they saw everything covered in white cloth, Then they went to the bathroom, when they opened the door everything was black.
'I don't like this place", cried Fred. Then they heard a noise coming from downstairs. They went down the wobbly stairs, then when they reach down the stairs, it dropped.
"That was close", said Peter.
Then they looked in the living room. Petter opened the door but they didn't see nothing just everything was covered in white cloth. Then they saw a library.
"What's a library doing in a old house", said Fred confused.
Fred opened the door, it was very, very old. Then they heard a noise, it was someone crying. Then the handle turned, they were frighted.
When the door opened a little girl walked in.
"Few", then went.
The little girl said, "I've lost my new doll, do you know where my doll is?".
Petter looked on the floor. "Here it is!", shouted Peter.
Fred said, "What is your name?"
"My name is Kate", replied the little girl.
"Here is your doll", said Petter.
Then the door handle turned, it was a monster.
They ran, and they got out safe.
Teacher comment:
"Excellent description 2RT"
I think this is when we had to write a descriptive story with dialogue and describing the scenery.
Fred and Peter was walking in the rain, they they saw a very old house.
"Come on Fred, are you a scardy cat?", whispered Peter.
"A little bit", explained Fred.
They went inside the old house. It was old, scary and full of spider webs. They went up the stairs. It was wobbly.
Fred and petter saw rooms. They looked in the bedroom first, they saw everything covered in white cloth, Then they went to the bathroom, when they opened the door everything was black.
'I don't like this place", cried Fred. Then they heard a noise coming from downstairs. They went down the wobbly stairs, then when they reach down the stairs, it dropped.
"That was close", said Peter.
Then they looked in the living room. Petter opened the door but they didn't see nothing just everything was covered in white cloth. Then they saw a library.
"What's a library doing in a old house", said Fred confused.
Fred opened the door, it was very, very old. Then they heard a noise, it was someone crying. Then the handle turned, they were frighted.
When the door opened a little girl walked in.
"Few", then went.
The little girl said, "I've lost my new doll, do you know where my doll is?".
Petter looked on the floor. "Here it is!", shouted Peter.
Fred said, "What is your name?"
"My name is Kate", replied the little girl.
"Here is your doll", said Petter.
Then the door handle turned, it was a monster.
They ran, and they got out safe.
Teacher comment:
"Excellent description 2RT"
I think this is when we had to write a descriptive story with dialogue and describing the scenery.
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